Dallas, TX … You either love it or hate it.

I personally have a love/hate relationship with Dallas.  I HATED living there because it took forever to get where I wanted to go.  Everyone lived so far apart that all I did was drive.  And, the only things people seemed to want to do on a Friday night were eat sushi and go to the theatre or drink cocktails – none of which I could afford.  I spent 9 months there and then high-tailed it back to good ol’ Oklahoma. 

However, my parents live in a town that’s considered part of “North Dallas”, and we have some good friends who live right downtown.  So, now I love being in Dallas and I can never wait to get back.  I would never live there again though…although in my life I’ve learned to never say never. 

(Thanks to the IASTED for the picture.)

Below is an article that this guy:

James Hobbs  BS MA PM
Director - Ignite Inc.
http://jameshobbs.ignite.biz
E-Mail: jameshobbs9857@sbcglobal.net
Cell: 469-450-4149

wrote.  It went around in an email today, and when I saw it I knew I had to share it.  If you have never been to Dallas you might not understand, but I know that several of my readers live in or around Dallas, so this is for them! 

 

First you must learn to pronounce the city name. It is DAL-LUS, or DAA-LIS depending on if you live inside or outside LBJ Freeway.

Next, if your Mapsco is more than a few weeks old, throw it out and buy a new one. If in Denton County and your Mapsco is one-day-old, then it is already obsolete. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. (Frisco has screwed everything up.)
Dallas has its own version of traffic rules…"Hold on and pray."   There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Dallas . We all drive like that.

All directions start with, "Get on Beltline," which has no beginning and no end. (It REALLY DOESN'T!!!)

The morning rush hour is from 6 to 10. The evening rush hour is from 3 to 7. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.

If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed out and possibly shot.  When you are the first one on the starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going to avoid crashing with all the drivers running the red light in cross-traffic.

Construction on Central Expressway is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment. We had sooo much fun with that, we have added George Bush Freeway and the High Five to the mix.

All unexplained sights are explained by the phrase, "Oh, we're in Fort Worth !"

If someone actually has his or her turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect. Car horns are actually "Road Rage" indicators - and remember, it's legal to be armed in Texas ..

All old ladies with blue hair in a Mercedes have the right of way. Period. And remember, it's legal to be armed in Texas ..

Inwood Road, Plano Road, NW Highway, East Grand, Garland Road, Marsh Lane, Josey Lane, 15th Street, Preston Road all mysteriously change names as you cross intersections (these are only a FEW examples). The perfect example is what is MOSTLY known as Plano Road . On the south end, it is known as Lake Highlands Drive, cross Northwest Highway and it becomes Plano Road, go about 8 miles and it is briefly Greenville Ave, Ave K, and Highway 5.  It ends in Sherman ...

The North Dallas Tollway is our daily version of NASCAR. The minimum acceptable speed on the Dallas North Toll Road is 85 mph. Anything less is considered downright sissy. It also ends in Sherman .

If asking directions in Irving or SE Dallas , you must have knowledge of Spanish.  If in central Richardson or on Harry Hines, Mandarin Chinese will be your best bet. If you stop to ask directions on Gaston or Live Oak, you better be armed... and remember, it's legal to be armed in Texas

The wrought iron on windows near Oak Cliff and Fair Park is not ornamental!!

A trip across town east to west will take a minimum of four hours, although many north/south freeways have unposted minimum speeds of 75.

It is possible to be driving WEST in the NORTH-bound lane of EAST NORTHWEST Highway . Don't let this confuse you.

LBJ is called "The Death Trap" for two reasons: "death" and "trap."

If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend. If it's 10 degrees and sleeting/snowing, the Fort Worth Stock Show is going on. If it has rained 6 inches in the last hour, the Byron Nelson Golf Classic is in the second round (if it's Spring) - and it is the Texas State Fair if it's Fall.

If you go to the Fair, pay the $10.00 to park INSIDE Fair Park . Parking elsewhere could cost up to $2500 for damages, towing fees, parking tickets, and possibly a gunshot wound.  If some guy with a flag tries to get you to park in his yard, run over him.

Any amusement parks, stadiums, arenas, racetracks, airports, etc., are conveniently located as far away from EVERYTHING as possible so as to allow for ample parking on grassy areas.

Final Warning: Don't Mess With Texas Drivers ... remember, it's legal to Be armed in Texas

20 Car Pile-Up in Oklahoma City

This video is amazing.  They are on a hill that no one can climb.  One car after another tries to reach the top of the hill, but each car ends up sliding back down and crashing into the already long line of cars.  Please watch the video until the end.  The last car is the kicker.

*There is quite a bit of cursing in this video, so please mute your computer if your kids are around. 

Drive Safe!

A Gift That Keeps On Giving

Yesterday, when I walking in from my trip, the first thing I did was check the mail.  This is the first thing I always do when I return home from a trip.  I’m not sure why I always think there will be something exciting waiting for me.  It’s not like there is ever anything exciting in the mail anymore.  The only exciting things I ever receive are the things that I order, for myself.  However, yesterday there was something exciting.  Actually, two somethings.  The first was a sweet card from my husband welcoming me home.  The second, The World Vision Christmas 2010 Gift Catalog.

I love this catalog.  Even though I’ve never been in a position where I could buy gifts from the catalog I still loving looking at it and knowing it’s there.  However, this year is different.  My immediate and extended families are all doing “other things” this year, meaning we aren’t spending money on gifts for each other.  Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE exchanging gifts with the people I love, but this year, the change means that I get to give a gift that keeps on giving. 

Here’s how it works:

World Vision, a Christian not-for-profit organization, has picked 100 countries and has figured out what the people need.  Then, they decide what gifts will go the furthest.  So, they are giving families goats and cows and oxen and sheep and chickens and ducks and rabbits and teaching them to fish!  This is amazing to me.  I love the idea of giving a family 2 chickens for $25.  These chickens will provide eggs for the family to eat and eggs for them to sell.  They will also provide more chickens who will give the family even more eggs to sell as well as chickens to sell.  So, for $25 you have just given a family not only a source of food, but also a source of income.  Isn’t this brilliant! 

There are also ways to help girls being sold into the sex trade and girls who need an education.  There are donations to help build clean water wells, to provide families with mosquito nets, to give fruit trees and vegetable seeds.  Or, for $100 you can stock a medical clinic with $1,100 worth of meds.

 

Also, If you are buying gifts for people and can’t decide what to give them, there are gifts you can buy from World Vision and the money for the gifts goes to that category.  For example, when girls in Thailand are rescued from the sex trade they are rehabilitated and given jobs making jewelry and other hand crafts as a source of income and reclamation into society.  So, you can buy a necklace or a bracelet, or the set and that money goes directly to the girls who are working to make the jewelry.  Or, you can buy one of those popular skinny water bottles, with the clip on top, and that money goes toward digging clean water wells.  There are also some beautiful Christmas ornaments.  The money for that goes toward a general fund that will go to what World Vision thinks is most necessary.  There are several more gift items, these are just examples. 

I have thought about getting together with some friends, pulling our money and seeing how far we can make it go.  Maybe you can do the same thing too.

If you are interested, the website is www.worldvisiongifts.org.