Feature Friday – Human Trafficking

I am beside myself right now.  I just finished driving four and a half hours from Dallas to Houston.  I spent the entire drive listening to podcasts about Passion 2012.  Their focus was on freedom.  They raised $3.3 million from college students that is going to fund organizations that are trying to stop human trafficking.  So, I just spent four and half hours listening about, singing about and praying for people who are trapped in slavery, and what does God do?  At the end of it all He gives me a face.  A real human who I can specifically pray for and be a voice for. 

Once parked at the hotel I walked from my car to the lobby and then straight for the elevator.  A man and a woman were also walking toward the elevator.  I dropped something and bent over to pick it up.  When I stood back up they were already on the elevator but on different sides.  I looked in the man’s eyes and he held the door for me.  I thanked him.  On my way into the elevator I looked into the woman’s eyes and she smiled at me.  My phone was ringing so I gave her a half smile, turned to face the elevator doors and then reached into my purse for my phone.  I announced into the phone, and to the elevator, that I had just arrived at the hotel.  The doors opened and I realized we were all getting off on the same floor.  The man and woman waited for me to get off first.  As I walked out of the elevator and to the right I saw them out of the corner of my eye.  That’s when I noticed they were getting off together.  I walked for a minute and then glanced behind me.  They were walking the opposite way down the hall, and when I saw them from behind my eyes were opened.  I saw a beautiful , young, dark body (over 6 feet tall) wearing a tight black sleeveless vest with nothing underneath, super short black shorts and 5” high heals walking with a middle aged light skinned man, not much taller than me, who was wearing loose fitting, light colored jeans, an old polo shirt and tennis shoes.  They did not belong together.  That’s when it hit me that she is a prostitute. 

I had just spent the past 45 minutes singing the same song over and over and praying for sex slaves around the world, and God opened my eyes to one who is just a few doors down the hall. 

I slowly walked into my hotel room, finished my phone conversation and then immediately dropped to my knees.  I cried out for her, for all who are like her.  I don’t know her story, I don’t know if it’s of her own free will, but what I do know is that she is a slave to the industry that is responsible for 85% of the 27 million slaves in our world today.  I didn’t even have words.  All I could get out were groanings that only the Holy Spirit could decipher and pray for me.  Then I asked, “Lord, what can I do?  What should I do?  Should I go into the hall and wait for her?  Should I prayer walk in the hall?  What can I do?”  Clear as day He answered, “She is not yours to save.”  Then came the me questions, “Was my smile warm enough?  Did I show her Jesus in that second that I had with her?  Did I do all I should have done?”  Then the answer, “She is not yours to save.”

I got up from the floor, sat in a chair and reflected on what had just transpired…  I have been a flight attendant for four and a half years now.  I have stayed in hotels almost as many nights as I’ve stayed at home in those years.  Tonight, the night that I spent four and a half hours listening to podcasts about this freedom movement, the night that I had the radio volume and my ipod volume on full blast, singing a song about human trafficking over and over again is the first night, in four and a half years and hundreds of nights in hotels, that I have laid eyes on a prostitute.  After a moment’s reflection I said the only thing I could say.  I said, “Okay, God.” 

 

Below is the post that I had pictured in my head while I was driving: 

“Human trafficking is on the rise.”

“…not only does human trafficking exist on the earth today, but there are actually more slaves than there have ever been in the history of humanity...”

See what the world’s done? Came to London, she's a nothing a no one, she's undone, broken dreams, stolen freedom, trapped in the night, trafficked and beaten.  All a part of an evil economy, nothing more than someone’s commodity, a precious being like you and me, a daughter a sister a somebody!

She was drawn by the bright lights, she was tied up in their lights, she worked right through the daylight, no voice, she’s a slave to the night.
27 million, like me.
That's 27 million people on this cruel journey
We've got to rise up, open our eyes up. Be her voice, be her freedom, come on stand up!

After the man left, she's nothing left, no one, no love, no one to call her friend. She's stuck in the pit of hell, she's almost sick of the smell. She's numb, she's dead from the inside out, her heart is screaming but you don't hear the shout. Who's the voice? Who's going to break the door down? Who wakes her up from this nightmare now?

She was drawn by the bright lights, she was tied up in their lights, she worked right through the daylight, no voice, she’s a slave to the night.
27 million, like me.
27 million who need Heaven’s mercy!
We've got to rise up, open our eyes up. Be her voice, be her freedom, come on stand up!

27 million, are you joking? How do we let evil get so tight a grip, watching while the world falls apart? How do we let this stuff begin? We're not bothered if this offends because you got people that can defend. But they ain't got that, they got nothing. Sometimes you gotta stand for something. Let this be the stand that gets your blood running.

Little girl don't cry, let me dry your eyes in the darkest night (you're not alone). Hold on through the storm, you're not on your own, hold on, love will come.
We've got to rise up, open our eyes up, be her voice, be her freedom, come on, stand up!

My favorite part of this video is the crowd.  The crowd is real.  They filmed this video live during Passion 2012.  You are looking at over 45,000 college students in the Georgia Dome on fire for this cause.  That is incredible!

If you want to join the freedom movement that is stemming from this you can go to this website http://72daysforfreedom.com/.  They are asking people to give $1 per day for 72 days.  There is also a petition to sign for the president to try to get him (our government as a whole) to be more involved in doing more to free slaves around the world.  There is a whole, whole lot more, but you can visit the website if you want to find out more.

 

Another good resource is Human Trafficking.  You can buy it new from Amazon starting at $2.90.  Here is the trailer.

 

Another good one is the movie Taken, starring Liam Neeson.  You can rent it from anywhere. 

 

If you’ve got time to kill, this is the video that is on the 72 Days For Freedom website. It’s long, but interesting.  I did learn how people are getting themselves into their situations.  A lot of people in poorer countries go to other countries to work.  They sign up with agencies who take them to the other countries.  Some agencies are legit and others aren’t.  So scary!

 

This matters.  Someday this could be me, or my daughter, or my granddaughter.  Please find an organization near you and get involved, even if it is just to learn the name of the organization and how you can pray for them.  Also, please know that many women who work in strip clubs get pulled into the sex trade.  Please do not support these businesses.  The porn industry… I don’t even want to go there.  Lastly, on the 72 Days For Freedom website there is a list of items made by slaves that you can avoid buying.  Check that out too.

 

It’s two hours later.  Once, while I was writing this, I heard a door slam.  I waited a minute and then slowly opened my door and looked out.  The hall was empty, but the Still Small Voice whispered, “She’s not yours to save.  Go back inside.”  So I did.

Feature Friday–Why?

 

We rode into town the other day, just me and my daddy.  He said I'd finally reached that age, and I could ride next to him on a horse that of course was not quite as wide. 

We heard a crowd of people shouting, and so we stopped to find out why.  And there was that man that my dad said he loved, but today there was fear in his eyes.  So I said, “Daddy why are they screaming?  Why are the faces of some of them beaming?  Why is he dressed in that bright purple robe?  I'll bet that crown hurts him more then he shows.  Daddy please can't you do something?  He looks as though he's gonna cry.  You said he was stronger then all of those guys.  Daddy please tell me why?  Why does everyone want him to die?” 

Later that day the sky grew cloudy, and daddy said I should go inside.  Somehow he knew things would get stormy.  Boy was he right.  But I could not keep from wondering if there was something he had to hide.  So, after he left I had to find out.  I was not afraid of getting lost.  So, I followed the crowds to a hill where I knew men had been killed, and I heard a voice come from the cross.  And it said, “Father why are they screaming?  Why are the faces of some of them beaming?  Why are they casting their lots for my clothes?  This crown of thorns hurts me more then it shows.  Father please can't you do something?  I know that You must hear my cry's.  I thought I could handle a cross of this size.  Father remind me why, why does everyone want me to die?  When will I understand why?

“My precious Son, I hear them screaming.  I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming, but soon I will clothe you in robes of my own.  Jesus, this hurts me much more then you know, but this dark hour I must do nothing though I've heard your unbearable cries.  The power in your blood destroys all of the lies.  Soon you'll see past their unmerciful cries.  Look there below, see the child trembling by her father's side?  Now, I can tell you why.  She is why you must die.”

 

Video credits can be found at the end of this video. 

I listen to this song over and over every year during Easter Weekend.  However, today it spoke to me in a special way. 

I woke up at 4:30 AM this morning (to catch a flight home) and took a shower.  Usually, that early in the morning I don’t think about anything until a little later.  However, this morning as the water poured over me it hit me, “Jesus died today.”  The fact that this was Passion Week and that Easter is this weekend had been nothing but a passing thought for me so far this year.  So, when it hit me this morning it hit me hard. 

When I arrived at the airport I pulled out a book I’m reading (with Laura) about Galatians.  This week’s focus is about not letting what people think about you affect your views of Christ, the Gospel, or how you live your life.  I read it and thought about how it applied more to when I was in high school than to now.  But, as I continued pondering if I really do let the opinions of others affect me I realized that I have basically stopped having “quiet times” (time by myself everyday to read the Bible and pray) because I’m afraid of how I might be perceived.  In fact, I really don’t have much of a relationship with God anymore at all.  I devote all my time to my husband, my animals, and projects at home.  I don’t want anyone at home to feel neglected because I’m off by myself.  No one has projected this on me, I’ve just taken it upon myself.  But, it’s drawn me further from God for several years now.  It was a HUGE revelation for me.  I also thought about work and other people in my life who’s opinions do matter whether I want to admit it or not. 

I arrived at the Columbus airport and started my hour and a half drive home.  The radio station I was listening to was just starting a Louie Giglio sermon.  He talked about praising God, about how the heavens and the earth were created to praise God.  I couldn’t see it, but I could picture the slideshow he scrolled through of people with their hands raised:

He talked about the fact that as humans when something happens our hands naturally go up, when we hear good news, when we get the touchdown/goal, when we idolize another human, and even when the world crumbles around us and we cry out for help.  After Louie spoke Chris Tomlin led worship and as the song played I had tears rolling down my face.  I was admitting for the first time just how lonely I really am, and I realized that I have been keeping myself extremely busy in an effort to drown it.  (Jason and I have a great relationship, but a spouse cannot meet all your emotional needs.)  I am lonely for God.  I miss my relationship with Him.  However, rather than run to Him, I have been running the other way.  In the car today, I had a moment with God that I desperately needed, and I know that His arms are open wide and that right now He loves me.  He is not mad at me.  It doesn’t matter that I’ve ignored and avoided Him for the past several months.  I can start doing it differently right now.  It was exactly what I needed. 

Once the radio program was over I wanted to hear the Nicole Nordeman song.  As I listened I was struck for the first time by the line that says, “why does everyone want me to die?”  I thought of my reading that morning about people’s opinions and about the loneliness I feel, and for the first time I thought about the loneliness Jesus must have felt.  Everyone talks about the physical pain: the cat of nine tails, the crown of thorns, the nails in his hands and feet, but do we ever stop to think of the emotional torment? 

He was 33.  That’s three years older than me.  As a 30 year-old I miss my family, I miss my friends, I don’t want to die before I have kids… I feel like life is still just beginning.  I can’t imagine what it would have been like for Him.  One of his best friends sold him out for 30 pieces of silver.  In the midst of his hell his very best friend denied knowing him.  People were screaming hatred at him.  People spit on him.  He had to listen to the men who hung Him on the cross gamble for his clothes.  Can you imagine how low and insignificant you would feel?  The worst was when God, his Father, his only refuge turned His back on Him so that He was literally left with no one.  He had a few people who still loved him, but if you are like me you know there are times when the people in your life can’t do any more for you.  That is when you turn to God and He always answers.  Can you imagine what it would be like if He didn’t answer?  The emotional burden must have been as overwhelming as the physical burden and He carried both of them utterly alone.  How can we ever say “Thank You” enough?

I raise my hands to the who died so that I might live. 

 

All images were taken from Google.

Feature Friday–Astronaut Story Musgrave

This past January I had the honor of hearing Story Musgrave speak at a work conference.  I was even able to spend some time with him after his presentation.  My friend Amy, above along with a couple of other people spent about an hour talking with him after the presentation.  It was an incredible experience for me.  He is a fascinating human being. 

I think Story is fascinating because is so fascinated himself.  He takes nothing in this world for granted.  He says that the reason man went to space is the same reason a 3 year old turns over a rock.  It’s sheer curiosity and wonder at the world around us. 

The main points that he likes to drive home in his speeches are that in life, in work and in everything, teamwork is essential.  He talks about how every single person mattered when it came to the mission.  From the astronauts to the people who designed the aircraft and the suits to the technicians who set up the mission control room and the people who made coffee so they could stay awake at mission control.  (I don’t remember the exact jobs that he used as examples, but he talked about how every job mattered from least to greatest.)  He also uses the body as an excellent example of teamwork.  I like this because it goes along with my post about the importance of church.  (You can read it here.)  He says,

“It’s like my body.  I’ve got a hundred million cells.  They all do their thing.  My liver cells say, ‘I’m a liver cell and I’m going to do a liver.’ And the kidney cell says, ‘I’m a kidney.  I’m going to do what kidneys are supposed to do.’  Believe me, there is no such thing as a kidney cell that is jealous of a brain cell.  The muscle cells don’t want the bone cells to fail.  They’ve got a mission.  That is the thing that coheres and brings everyone together.  That’s what gives everyone a passion.  You don’t do a mission, you believe in it.  Anytime you can get that kind of vision it’s spectacular, and the job gets done.”

In his presentation to us he said over and over that it is vital to your best every single day.  He was truly motivating.

I asked him if I could write about him on my blog, so here is the short bio that he gave me to copy and share.  I think it is now a couple of years old because I know his daughter is 5 years old now.  I also know that he lives on and operates a palm farm in Florida now.  But, I wanted to use what he gave me because I think it’s awesome that he gave me something to share with you.

Story Musgrave was born in 1935 on a dairy farm in Stockbridge, MA.  He was the forests alone at age 3 and by age 5 floated his homebuilt rafts on the rivers.  He rode combines at age 5, drove trucks and tractors at age 10 and when alone in remote fields repaired them by age 13. 

He never finished school, ran off to Korea with U.S. Marines where he was an aircraft electrician and engine mechanic.  He started flying with the Marines and over the next 57 years accumulated 18,000 hours in over 160 aircraft.  He is a parachutist with over 800 free-falls. 

He has 7 graduate degrees in math, computers, chemistry, medicine, physiology, literature and psychology.  He has been awarded 20 honorary doctorates.  He was a part-time trauma surgeon for the duration of his astronaut career.

He was a NASA astronaut for over 30 years and flew on six spaceflights.  He performed the first shuttle spacewalk on Challenger’s first flight, was a pilot on an astronomy mission, conducted two classified DOD missions, was the lead spacewalker on the Hubble Telescope repair mission and operated an electronic chip manufacturing satellite on Columbia.  He was the communicator in mission control for 25 missions.

Today he is an independent producer/director of multimedia, a landscape architect, an innovator with Applied Minds Inc., a bioengineer with Tupperware Inc., and a professor of design at Art Center College in Pasadena, CA.

Story also performs multimedia corporate presentations on the topic of reliability as it applies to hardware, software, systems, individuals, groups and institutions.

He has 7 beautiful children: Lorelei, Scott, Holly, Todd, Jeff, Lane and Story, ranging from ages 49 to 3 years, 3 beautiful grandchildren , and a beautiful wife, Amanda.

One thing that is not in this bio, or the one listed below, is that when he was 16 he “borrowed” an airplane from a neighbor in the middle of the night.  He got it out of their barn and taught himself to fly.  He returned the airplane unharmed to the barn.  He laughed about this when he was telling us the story.  It’s an example of how he wants to know about the inner workings of every single thing that he can get his hands on.  It’s why he was a part-time surgeon while he was an astronaut. 

You can find a MUCH more in depth bio at www.spacestory.com. 

These pictures were taken from a website that previews his book.  You can find that website here.  His book has a lot of really amazing space pictures as well as pictures of the sky and other things.  This is a picture I found through Google images.  If you click on the picture it will take to the original website, which has other awesome pics taken by the Hubble Space Telescope.  That is actually Story in the picture.

I have also included several youtube videos that I really liked.  The first video is where he talks about the human body.  I actually quoted him verbatim from that video.  The second video is an entire presentation.  It’s long, but I think you will  really enjoy it if you take the time to watch it.  The third video is an interview about his time at mission control.  The last video is at a conference where he talks about how vast the universe is.  The Bible says in Genesis that God created the heavens (plural) and the earth.  It also talks in several places about God spreading/stretching out the heavens.  That is my only opinion on space.  I just wanted to throw it out there before you watch the last video.  

If you watch to end of this video you will see Story talk about how it takes all parts of a machine to work.

This is a long video that I hope you will take time to watch at some point.

This is an interview with Story about when he was part of Mission Control.

This is a short video to get a feel for Story Musgrave.

Other websites you can visit to see more are:

www.storymusgrave.com

www.spacestory.com

www.lannistoria.com

www.t38jet.com

 

I hope you have enjoyed Story Musgrave as much as I did.

Feature Friday with Cousin Carla

Carla’s mom is my dad’s cousin.  Her grandma was my grandpa’s sister.  When I think of Carla I see a friendly, outgoing, curly haired (I always wanted curly hair) teenager walking into our cabin at Lake Texoma.  We grew up hanging out at the yearly family reunions at Catfish Bay.  Carla was always up for anything, and she was always friendly and inclusive.  Every year I couldn’t wait for the Garrett family to arrive.

Now, we are all grown up.  However, my excitement to see each member of this family is the same today as it was back then.  Carla has grown into an amazing woman.  I am honored to feature her this Friday.

 

1. What is your full name and where were you born?

Carla Denise Icenhower (maiden name: Garrett) and I was born in McAlester, OK

 

2. What are some of your favorite memories from your childhood?

The traditions around the holidays always make great childhood memories.

Thanksgiving: the guys would always go quail hunting while the girls ate ice cream, crumbled biscuits and cornbread for dressing, and watch the Macy's parade.

Christmas: we would always open one gift on Christmas Eve-new pajamas for the photos the next morning. We would open gifts Christmas morning at our house and then go to our grandparents house in Durant to open gifts and eat lunch (the quail from the Thanksgiving hunt).

 Christmas PJs with Clay (Brother), Carla, Heath (Husband), Kristen (Sister), Kim (Sister), Michael (Brother-in-law)

New Years: the kids always used to stay at our grandparents house to ring in the New Year. We found out later in life that we always rang in the New Year at 10 pm when the first ball dropped!!

Easter: the Kiwanas Easter Egg Hunt

Another great memory were our family vacations. My favorite was when we would take the trailers and drive up to Yellowstone National Park, with a short stop at the Grand Teton Mountains! We would hike, play, and be out in nature...the best combination!

 

3. Tell us about your husband, how you met, fell in love and got married.

Heath and I met at church. We were both in the singles department at Prestonwood Baptist Church and were good friends for over a year before we started dating. I really got a chance to see how he acted around his friends, his leadership ability within the church, and how he cared for his family (his sister was also in our class). I learned very quickly that God came first in his life and that he truly cares for, and takes care of, others!!

     Picture from dating days

    Pregnant with baby Garrett

   Family picture last Thanksgiving

4. What advice do you have for newly weds and marries couples?

I have only been married 5 years, but the biggest thing I have learned is to accept yourself and your partner for exactly who they are! Also, try to be involved in something that your partner enjoys. This will lead to quality time spent together and a better understanding of your significant other!

5. You had your son premature. Can you tell your story?

I developed blood pressure issues early with my son, Garrett, and was watched very closely by my doctors throughout my pregnancy (preeclampsia). My bp got out of control at 25 weeks, I was placed on hospital bed rest on Tuesday, and Garrett was born on Friday (born Jan. 23, due May 3). I gave birth to a beautiful 1 lb 5 oz baby boy. Small, but spectacular! We stayed in the hospital NICU for 4 months and came home still on oxygen and a heart monitor. The first 2 weeks were the hardest having him home. They set the monitor alarm system too high, which means it went off every 1-2 minutes. However, having him home was fantastic!!

We were blessed because I was able to stay home with Garrett and take the doctors suggestion to heart. We didn't take Garrett out anywhere unless we had to...doctors office and grandparents were the only places we went. At 12 months we were able to get off the oxygen and by 18 months we were able to be released by all of our doctors/therapist. By the grace of God, we had a healthy and rambunctious little boy!!

  Garrett one day old

   Garrett’s first diaper

Garrett’s First Birthday

Garrett’s second Halloween

Fun day with Heath’s family

6. What advice do you have for parents going through this?

Being a parent is not an easy role, but being the parent of a preemie adds to the stress and the worry. I cannot imagine going through all of that without the support of our family and friends, plus being able to lay down all of my worries at Jesus' feet. The power of prayer is an amazing thing and God still performs miracles every day!!

My biggest advice is to ask for help!! I am a proud and stubborn person...there were times I was going through agony, but didn't want to, or feel like I should, ask for help. In my blind eyes, I thought that meant I was weak. I now realize it means that I am human and that asking one of the many people who offered to help would've been a much better choice.

 

7. You were diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes very young. Will you tell about what that was like as a kid? Does it effect your life now?

I was diagnosed with diabetes when I was 14...right at the end of my freshman year of high school. It came at a time in my life where I was still trying to figure our who I was and where I belonged. It made me feel different and weird in a way that no one could change. To be honest, I didn't take it well!! I did everything I could to forget that I had it, which included not taking care of myself. I pretty much ignored my diagnosis for 8 years. It took a lot of convincing from my parents and a lot of prayer from others for me to "see the light" and see what it was doing to my body/health. It was not only bad during those years, it has added to the complications I have experienced in my adult life. Not my shining moment!!

I am taking better care of myself now and trying to not let diabetes define me. I work with my doctors instead of against them and even tho it's a struggle sometimes, the benefits are too numerous to explain. Plus, I want to make sure I get to grow old with my husband and watch my child grow up.

8. What advice do you have for parents with diabetic children?

I don't know if I have any good advice for parents?!? My parents did everything right and I still didn't take care of myself well. I would just do your best to make the child feel as normal as possible, talk to your child about how it makes them feel and if people are treating them differently, and make sure that anyone who comes in contact with your child is educated (school, friends, grandparents, etc). I still meet people that believe I got diabetes from eating too much sugar as a child!!

9. Having been a teacher before you were a mom, what do you think are some of the most important things for parents to know and do about, for and with their children?

WOW...great question that could potentially lead me to stand on a few soap boxes, so I will try my best to be brief!

*READ to and with your child every day or night. Reading is the foundation of doing any other subject in school (IE. being able to read a math problem or being able to read the directions on a science project).

*TALK to your children. One of the major things we have noticed lately is that children have a problem holding a conversation with adults (I talk, you talk). The dinner table, car rides, and walking around the grocery store are perfect places/times to just talk to your kids. The conversations may be weird depending on their age, but the benefits are priceless!

*BE INVOLVED with your child. I know the job sometimes gets in the way of being a room mom or being able to volunteer to help in the class on a weekly basis, but get involved when and where you can. The amount of respect you have for your child’s school/teacher will be a mirror image of how your child respects the school/teacher!

*DON'T HELP your child do something they can do successfully on their own and ALLOW them to make MISTAKES!!

  Garrett finger painting at pre-school

 

10. We come from grandparents and great grandparents who left legacies. What did you learn most from them and what legacy do you hope to leave?

The legacy that my parents and grandparents have left behind is almost a full time job to keep up with! They are/were AMAZING!!! What I have learned most from them is:

* God always come first in your life.
* Nothing is more important than family
* Friends are something to be treasured
* Hard work never hurt anyone

Although the list I gave doesn't look like much, those are the highlights. I hope I can pass those along to the next generation and I pray that the legacy they began never dies! It's a wonderful family to be a part of and I enjoy spending time with them...I hope my child feels the same way about spending time with his family!

  Carla’s grandparent’s mantle

If you would like to follow Carla her blog address is http://icenhower-family.blogspot.com/.

If you would like to read more about Garrett’s birth you can start here: http://icenhower-family.blogspot.com/2009/01/garrett-has-arrived.html.

Thanks for letting me letting me interview you this week Carla!

Feature Friday with Gma

Every grandma is different, and each one is special in her own way.  Today, I would like to introduce you to my Grandma Gray.  Since I can remember, she has signed every letter, every card and every gift: Gma.  I’ve always loved that.  In high school my nickname was bpark.  Patrick Tucker’s was ptuck.  Gma was totally ahead of all the “cool” kids. Full Name: Esther Pearl (Wood) Gray Born: November 28, 1926 in Stratford, Oklahoma. (When I asked if she was born at the hospital she laughed.)  She was born at home. What was it like growing up and being one of 12 children?

“Just always a house full, and mom had to cook big meals.  I had already moved away before the last of them were born. I was the second of 12. The oldest was 17 months when I was born. Everyone pretty much got along, but my sister that was older than me felt that because she was older she was the boss. I didn’t always think that was the way it ought to be.”

“I admired my father and liked to be where he was.  Since there were no older brothers, I was like my dad’s oldest son on the farm. I helped milk the cows, feed hogs, and work in the field.  Sometimes I would set to the field with a horse and a tool and do whatever I was sent to do.”

“When school was in season it was from 9 am to 4 pm. There were about 10-15 people in my class.  It was a country school and we lived 2.25 miles from school, so we had to walk to and from everyday (even in the rain and snow).”

When I think of my grandma the words “giving” and “hard worker” come to mind.  She always worked hard and she gave everything she had to whatever she did.  When I asked her what was her biggest accomplishment she told me that it was her ability to sew. 

“To make a man’s suit is a pretty good accomplishment.”

She made suits for both of her sons, her husband and her father.  In fact, she made the suits that both her father and her husband were buried in.  Grandma also made my mom’s wedding dress and a bride’s maid’s dress, a candle lighter’s dress and the flower girl’s dress for my mom’s wedding.  My mom added that she also upholstered furniture, like her couch and recliner, etc.  My favorite things she sewed were matching clothes for me and my dolls. Grandma also told me that she sewed for others too.

“We lived at Oil Center, which was about 10 or 11 miles from Ada (OK), and there were people that brought me sewing from Ada. I was a good seamstress.” (My mom told me that she remembers one person driving 25-30 miles.)

Another example of my grandma’s work ethic came in 1979 when she graduated from nursing school.

“I was a nurse for a few years and really enjoyed it. You feel like you are helping people. I look back on it now and I think that it really was an accomplishment.”

Grandma was also famous for her pies. 

“I always liked baking pies. We always made our own pie crust and then the fillings we baked too, using milk and eggs and flour or corn starch, whatever we had, and fruit or flavorings.”

My grandma was married twice.  Her first husband was Cleo Finch.  She told me that his family lived 3/4 of a mile from them and so for several years all the kids would get together and play and hang out.  She was 17 when he asked her to marry him before he had to go to war.  She agreed and they got married.  They never went on any formal dates before they got married, but she said that she had spent a lot of time with him over the years and “he was a nice kid”.  Two months after they got married he was called to war.  Two months after that he died in battle. 

“We had a rural mail carrier who knew about our situation. He got the wire from the military, so he came out to our house and told mom and me.  Then, we went to his mother’s house and told her. That was not easy.”

About a year after Cleo’s death Grandma met my Grandpa, Fred Gray.

“We went to the same church. I hadn’t been going there very long when he came up to mom’s house to see me. Then we started going out together.”

About a year after that they were married.  Grandpa had a son, David and then they had 3 more kids: Garry, Larry (who went to be with Jesus in 1978) and Carma, my mom.  When I asked my grandma about married life she said:

“We lived on a farm and there was always a lot to do. You just did what you had to do and helped your husband with whatever needed to be done.”

Advice about kids:

“Take them to church and Sunday school, help them with their school work, and treat them like other human beings.”

Thoughts on spiritual life:

“I was 10 years old when I first gave my heart to the lord and I’ve tried all my life to be a Christian, read the bible and pray, and just be an example for other people. That’s all I’ve done.”

Advice about cooking:

“Use fresh vegetables.” (Grandma and Grandpa had a large garden, and Grandma made amazing dishes from it.)

Thoughts on chocolate gravy (a staple on Gma’s breakfast table, and one of my favorite foods):

“Chocolate gravy is something my mom always did and she taught us that.”

About life then and now:

“Everyone is more educated and most women have a job.  Back when I was a girl hardly any women worked in the public. The biggest changes in roles of women were during and after WWII. Women started to see themselves differently, but not in the area where we lived. About the only women you saw working when I was a girl were in retail sales and of course the nurses and school teachers. Things have changed so much. The types of jobs women do now weren’t available then.”

Any other memories to share?

”The main thing was the way dad and mom taught us. Dad almost always prayed at night before we went to bed, and he read the Bible to us.  He was a deacon in the church when I was born and he remained a deacon until he died. My dad was a good kind of a man.”

I have a lot of fond memories from visiting my grandparents farm.  One of my favorites is that of chocolate gravy.  I’m going to ask permission to share the family secret.  If I can I will post the recipe in a later post. 
After spending time with Grandma collecting this information I wish that I had done the same with both my grandpas.  Please don’t ever take your grandparents for granted.  Get all the information you can from them while are still here with you.
Have a great weekend!

Feature Friday with Dee Dee Bailey

1. What is your full name?

My real name is Mary Dee Sisson-Bailey, but I've been called Dee Dee since day one, my godfather's last name was Dees and it just stuck.

2. How long have you been married?

Ron & I have been married for 40 years, 41 this July.

3. What advice do you have for newly married brides/couples?

Treat each other special, give each other respect and learn to control your temper, your speech and your voice levels. It really is like the old saying, “Everything I learned in life, I learned in Kindergarten!!! Your spouse is your best friend...treat them that way.

4. How many kids and grandkids do you have? What are they like?

Ron & I have two daughters, both are married and between them we have 5 grandchildren.....what can I say, I am blessed. They are all healthy, bright and very active kids.....not a quite one in the bunch!

5. What advice do you have for new moms/parents?

My best advice for new parents......keep a date night......every week set time aside for just the two of you. If you can't go out to dinner and a movie.....fix a picnic and go to the park, or take a long bike ride.....just make time for each other. Young parents have a tendency to plan everything around the children, but you have to remember to take some time everyday for yourself, to be renewed and refreshed.....and then you are a better parent and spouse.

6. What do you think are the biggest challenges parents with small children face now as opposed to when your girls were little? Do you have any advice for those?

There are so many challenges parents today have we didn't even have.......technology for one, you have to protect them from too much television, computer time, electronic games, the list goes on, as well as society problems, my girls could go outside and play and I didn't have to worry about anything....today you have to have an adult outside watching them play on their own block.....and you have to do these protective things without scaring them and yourselves. I think you still have to daily place them in God's hands, ask him to send Guardian angels to surround them and protect them from any evil that would try to harm them. I still pray that prayer everyday for my family.

7. You have spent a lot of time tracing your ancestry. What is your favorite story?

I have really loved tracing my family tree, I have ancestors that lived in Plymouth and ancestors that were already here, but my favorite story of all is about a great grandmother that lived during the American Revolution, her name was Mattie McFarland McGee Bell. Her 1^st husband my great grandfather had been a Col.(sp) in the British Army before becoming a patriot and he died about 1777, and left her with 5 children to run their farm and the town mill.

When one day the English General Cornwallis and his army show up at her front door and claim her property and stores and take everything. They camped there for a few weeks and in the process she learned about their plans for Yorktown. So when they left, she put on her deceased husband’s uniform and rode on horseback for 2 days to reach the Patriot Army , Col. Greene. And the information she gave him led to the Battle of Yorktown, in which we won our freedom from England and Gen. Cornwallis had to surrender!! I admire her courage under fire and her bravery.....she could have got caught and shot as a spy.....but she didn't.....I believe she was born as Esther was...for such a time as that! Later on, two of her sons became Methodists ministers and every Circuit riding Methodist preacher that went through N.C. stayed at her home....she was called the Mother of the Methodist Movement in North Carolina. (It's a long story but I think she's worth it) She's one of my heroes.

8. You are a breast cancer survivor. Do you have any words of advice or encouragement for others facing breast cancer?

My best advice is to remember you may have cancer, BUT IT DOES NOT HAVE TO HAVE YOU! I read a book a few days after my masdectomy called, “The Cancer Conqueror” by Greg Anderson. It changed my life....and I got my life back. That book should be number one on any cancer patient's list and their family.

9. You have been a Christian for many years. What do you think are the most important things to focus on as we try to live out our Christian faith?

In this life we are going to have good times and bad.....we must remember, He Will Never Leave Us or Forsake Us....that is a Promise! And God ALWAYS keeps His Promises. No matter what happens in this life, I KNOW HE is with me....ALWAYS!

10. Lastly, you have some hidden talents as far as art and craftiness go. Will you share what you do?

I love to paint....I do oil painting and some watercolor, but oil is my favorite. I started painting again about 12 years ago, ( I was an Art Major in college) and I love it.

I also love to scrapbook and do crafts. I recently started taking old suitcases, mostly from the 40's and 50's and I turn them into Memory Boxes. They have been a huge hit. I even made one for my 8 year old nephew and grandson that was about baseball, they both love the Yankees. And my granddaughters each have one they use for their overnight bags when they go to a friend’s house. They are really girly and personalized!

 

~~~

I met Dee Dee five years ago when I signed up to be on the prayer team at church.  She opened her house up once a week to anyone who wanted to learn more about prayer.  On the first night, a guy named Matt and I showed up.  For a year, we literally sat at her feet (she in the chair, us on the floor) soaking up every word she had to say.  We listened to her teach for a while and then the three of us would pray together.  These are some of the most precious memories of my life.  The fact that we literally sat at her feet… 

She is an amazing woman who still speaks into my life today.  If there is an incredible spiritual story or experience, she has heard and/or experienced it herself.  I love Dee Dee dearly, and every moment I get with her is a true blessing from God. 

Thank you Dee Dee for letting me feature you!

Feature Friday With My Mom!

 

1.  Your name:

Carma

2. How long have you been married?

32+ years

3. Do you have any words of wisdom for newly married brides or couples?

Pick the right man! After that… pick your battles, don’t nag about the small things, talk about the things that matter. Talk often, share a lot, and laugh a lot. Be willing to give up things and compromise on things that cause unnecessary stress. A friend once said about her marriage “Sometimes I know we are still together because we love each other, sometimes it’s because we are committed”. In the tough times, stay committed because the love and fulfillment for the rest of the time is so worth it. Just ask Russ!

4. Your Occupation:

Human Resources

5. Do you have any specific advice you could give to people who are looking for a job?

Jobs are easier to get if you currently have a job so, if possible, stick with a job while you look for another one and don’t burn bridges when you leave. Keep your resume up-to-date and accurate. Referrals are a great help, so spend time networking. Feel free to follow up on your applications you’ve submitted.

When you get a job offer, use your accurate resume to provide employment history for the background check. In my job, I sometimes have to rescind (take back) a job offer simply because someone didn’t take the time to make sure their employment history was accurate, i.e. the verified employment dates are dramatically different than what the candidate provided, or the candidate decided some jobs weren’t important and didn’t disclose them (this can be considered falsification of an application).

6. Yesterday was the one year anniversary of a goal you had set.  What was that goal?

I decided to stop eating sugar and sugar substitutes which included desserts, chocolate and Diet Coke.

7. Can you tell us what it was like to not eat any dessert for one year?

At first, I just thought I was just giving one more diet a try. But, unlike all the other diets I had tried before, the longer I avoided sugar the easier it was because I no longer craved things…not just desserts or chocolate but a lot of other foods. It took about a month to get rid of the real sugar cravings but after that it was so much easier. I have sat in all day meetings with chocolate sitting in front of me and was able to easily resist. For me, the hardest thing was giving up Diet Cokes. I have never drank much water, but now my fluids have become water, unsweet tea and black coffee. I’m still not a huge fan of unsweet tea so I have become a much better water drinker, which is so much healthier.

About three months into it, I was battling with myself over a piece of carrot cake. Britney looked at me and said “You have done so good, will one piece of cake really be worth it?” That was all the encouragement I needed to resist the urge. After that, every time I was tempted I could hear that voice say “Is that one little piece of chocolate, cake, Coke worth risking not being able to get back on track?” And the answer was no, it would only satisfy me for a few minutes and it could make all the food cravings come back full force.

After I was able to stick with this for 6 months, then my personal goal became to make it a year. I’m glad I had that goal out there because it helped get me through Thanksgiving, Christmas and a cruise, and it has been those last 6 months that has helped solidify the life-style change. As I started getting close to the one year mark, I decided that I wasn’t going to celebrate by having the foods I had worked to overcome, but to continue to improve my eating habits.

8. Were there any life changes that came with it (mood, weight, energy, etc.)?

Over the last year, I have very gradually lost 15 pounds. While that doesn’t seem like a lot (and I definitely want to lose more), the good news is that I have not had to worry about gaining weight, and I definitely feel better.

9. Do you have any advice for people who are thinking about a lifestyle change?

Be realistic, do it for yourself, plan ahead and find something you like that can substitute when you are tempted to go back to your old habits. For me, it was Lays plain Kettle Chips. The plain ones don’t have sugar and they don’t make me crave other foods like sugar does. Just a few chips would do the trick…yes, I tried carrots…it’s just not the same.

10. What’s next?

This year, I am adding White Bread to my list of foods to eliminate. Yes…that means Sister Schubert’s hot rolls… But, I need to do it for my health right?? It will make me healthier, won’t it??...

~~~

My mom is one of my heroes.  She is a truly amazing person.  There are time when I’ve gone the extra mile for someone and I’ll stop and think, “I learned that from my mom”.  I love that I look like her and that I have so much of her in me. 

She is super smart, she is business savvy, and when she puts her mind to something, nothing can stop her…Just ask my dad about the time he came home and she had taken a sledge hammer to the wall under the stairs to start the process of making a deep closet. 

Last little FYI:  I’m starting month 4 of no dessert.  Thanks Mom!

And, thanks for letting me feature you.  I LOVE YOU!!!