A Life Planned Is Never As Expected.: Feature Friday with Cousin Carla

Carla’s mom is my dad’s cousin. Her grandma was my grandpa’s sister. When I think of Carla I see a friendly, outgoing, curly haired (I always wanted curly hair) teenager walking into our cabin at Lake Texoma. We grew up hanging out at the yearly family reunions at Catfish Bay. Carla was always up for anything, and she was always friendly and inclusive. Every year I couldn’t wait for the Garrett family to arrive.

Now, we are all grown up. However, my excitement to see each member of this family is the same today as it was back then. Carla has grown into an amazing woman. I am honored to feature her this Friday.

1. What is your full name and where were you born?

Carla Denise Icenhower (maiden name: Garrett) and I was born in McAlester, OK

2. What are some of your favorite memories from your childhood?

The traditions around the holidays always make great childhood memories.

Thanksgiving: the guys would always go quail hunting while the girls ate ice cream, crumbled biscuits and cornbread for dressing, and watch the Macy's parade.

Christmas: we would always open one gift on Christmas Eve-new pajamas for the photos the next morning. We would open gifts Christmas morning at our house and then go to our grandparents house in Durant to open gifts and eat lunch (the quail from the Thanksgiving hunt).

Christmas PJs with Clay (Brother), Carla, Heath (Husband), Kristen (Sister), Kim (Sister), Michael (Brother-in-law)

New Years: the kids always used to stay at our grandparents house to ring in the New Year. We found out later in life that we always rang in the New Year at 10 pm when the first ball dropped!!

Easter: the Kiwanas Easter Egg Hunt

Another great memory were our family vacations. My favorite was when we would take the trailers and drive up to Yellowstone National Park, with a short stop at the Grand Teton Mountains! We would hike, play, and be out in nature...the best combination!

3. Tell us about your husband, how you met, fell in love and got married.

Heath and I met at church. We were both in the singles department at Prestonwood Baptist Church and were good friends for over a year before we started dating. I really got a chance to see how he acted around his friends, his leadership ability within the church, and how he cared for his family (his sister was also in our class). I learned very quickly that God came first in his life and that he truly cares for, and takes care of, others!!

Picture from dating days

Pregnant with baby Garrett

Family picture last Thanksgiving

4. What advice do you have for newly weds and marries couples?

I have only been married 5 years, but the biggest thing I have learned is to accept yourself and your partner for exactly who they are! Also, try to be involved in something that your partner enjoys. This will lead to quality time spent together and a better understanding of your significant other!

5. You had your son premature. Can you tell your story?

I developed blood pressure issues early with my son, Garrett, and was watched very closely by my doctors throughout my pregnancy (preeclampsia). My bp got out of control at 25 weeks, I was placed on hospital bed rest on Tuesday, and Garrett was born on Friday (born Jan. 23, due May 3). I gave birth to a beautiful 1 lb 5 oz baby boy. Small, but spectacular! We stayed in the hospital NICU for 4 months and came home still on oxygen and a heart monitor. The first 2 weeks were the hardest having him home. They set the monitor alarm system too high, which means it went off every 1-2 minutes. However, having him home was fantastic!!

We were blessed because I was able to stay home with Garrett and take the doctors suggestion to heart. We didn't take Garrett out anywhere unless we had to...doctors office and grandparents were the only places we went. At 12 months we were able to get off the oxygen and by 18 months we were able to be released by all of our doctors/therapist. By the grace of God, we had a healthy and rambunctious little boy!!
Garrett one day old
Garrett’s first diaper
Garrett’s First Birthday
Garrett’s second Halloween
Fun day with Heath’s family

6. What advice do you have for parents going through this?

Being a parent is not an easy role, but being the parent of a preemie adds to the stress and the worry. I cannot imagine going through all of that without the support of our family and friends, plus being able to lay down all of my worries at Jesus' feet. The power of prayer is an amazing thing and God still performs miracles every day!!

My biggest advice is to ask for help!! I am a proud and stubborn person...there were times I was going through agony, but didn't want to, or feel like I should, ask for help. In my blind eyes, I thought that meant I was weak. I now realize it means that I am human and that asking one of the many people who offered to help would've been a much better choice.

7. You were diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes very young. Will you tell about what that was like as a kid? Does it effect your life now?

I was diagnosed with diabetes when I was 14...right at the end of my freshman year of high school. It came at a time in my life where I was still trying to figure our who I was and where I belonged. It made me feel different and weird in a way that no one could change. To be honest, I didn't take it well!! I did everything I could to forget that I had it, which included not taking care of myself. I pretty much ignored my diagnosis for 8 years. It took a lot of convincing from my parents and a lot of prayer from others for me to "see the light" and see what it was doing to my body/health. It was not only bad during those years, it has added to the complications I have experienced in my adult life. Not my shining moment!!

I am taking better care of myself now and trying to not let diabetes define me. I work with my doctors instead of against them and even tho it's a struggle sometimes, the benefits are too numerous to explain. Plus, I want to make sure I get to grow old with my husband and watch my child grow up.

8. What advice do you have for parents with diabetic children?

I don't know if I have any good advice for parents?!? My parents did everything right and I still didn't take care of myself well. I would just do your best to make the child feel as normal as possible, talk to your child about how it makes them feel and if people are treating them differently, and make sure that anyone who comes in contact with your child is educated (school, friends, grandparents, etc). I still meet people that believe I got diabetes from eating too much sugar as a child!!

9. Having been a teacher before you were a mom, what do you think are some of the most important things for parents to know and do about, for and with their children?

WOW...great question that could potentially lead me to stand on a few soap boxes, so I will try my best to be brief!

*READ to and with your child every day or night. Reading is the foundation of doing any other subject in school (IE. being able to read a math problem or being able to read the directions on a science project).

*TALK to your children. One of the major things we have noticed lately is that children have a problem holding a conversation with adults (I talk, you talk). The dinner table, car rides, and walking around the grocery store are perfect places/times to just talk to your kids. The conversations may be weird depending on their age, but the benefits are priceless!

*BE INVOLVED with your child. I know the job sometimes gets in the way of being a room mom or being able to volunteer to help in the class on a weekly basis, but get involved when and where you can. The amount of respect you have for your child’s school/teacher will be a mirror image of how your child respects the school/teacher!

*DON'T HELP your child do something they can do successfully on their own and ALLOW them to make MISTAKES!!

Garrett finger painting at pre-school

10. We come from grandparents and great grandparents who left legacies. What did you learn most from them and what legacy do you hope to leave?

The legacy that my parents and grandparents have left behind is almost a full time job to keep up with! They are/were AMAZING!!! What I have learned most from them is:

* God always come first in your life.
* Nothing is more important than family
* Friends are something to be treasured
* Hard work never hurt anyone

Although the list I gave doesn't look like much, those are the highlights. I hope I can pass those along to the next generation and I pray that the legacy they began never dies! It's a wonderful family to be a part of and I enjoy spending time with them...I hope my child feels the same way about spending time with his family!