He Is All I See.

This picture was taken on July 4, 2007.  He had proposed, and I had accepted, just 3 weeks prior.  To this day, it is one of my very favorite pictures of us because I feel like it is a picture of my life.  He is all I see.  The rest of the world remains in the periphery.

Tonight, as I sat on my jumpseat, looking out at passengers, I saw a man, week and bruised, on his way to MD Anderson* for more treatment.  His wife sat across the aisle.  As the plane started down the runway they reached across the aisle and held hands.  It was just for a second, but I saw it, and when I did I almost lost it.  I had to turn my head and fight back tears as I thought about what it must be like in their shoes. 

Until I fell in love with Jason I never knew that it was possible for love to run this deep.  Due to my job, since the beginning of May Jason and I have spent a lot of time apart, and I spend about 40 minutes every day (during take-offs and landings) sitting on a jumpseat doing nothing but thinking, and usually I am thinking about Jason.  Most of the time I am either fighting back tears or stifling smiles and giggles  Every time I hear a song about a person who’s lost their love, every time I hear about a fallen soldier, and every time I even dare to think what it would be like if I had to live without him tears rush to my eyes and it’s all I can do to keep my composure.  However, the opposite is also true.  Every time I think of something that happened or was said between us, every time I close my eyes and see straight into his eyes, or feel the safety of his strong hugs, or the gentleness of his kisses on my forehead I smile uncontrollably.  This is what life is all about.  This is why God created Adam and Eve for each other. 

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In closing, I would just like to say that if anyone reading this has lost the love of their life, then please accept my apology from all of us who can’t comprehend what you are going through.  I believe it’s either because we haven’t ever had this kind of love, or because we love someone so much that we can’t physically, mentally, or emotionally bear to think about what it would really be like if we lost them.  So, please be patient with us, and please accept my sincere gratitude for being a living, breathing reminder that we should never take a second of our time for granted.

For those who have yet to experience what I’m talking about, you will.  There is no doubt in my mind that you will.  And when you do, you will be glad for every second you waited because finding your True Love is worth the wait.  I believe the heart ache that comes from waiting is part of what adds so much depth the love that you will ultimately behold.  It’s coming, if you can just hold on a bit longer.

Lastly, for those of you who know exactly what I’m talking about, but don’t take much time to think about it, please start.  I credit my time in that jumpseat for the depth of love I have for Jason because when I’m with him I don’t think about it, and when I’m with friends I don’t think about it, and when I’m listening to the radio or watching TV I don’t think about it.  It’s only when I sit in silence and reflect on our life together that I truly get sentimental and realize and define exactly what we have and what he means to me.  I challenge you to take time in the car, on a walk, in the bath tub, or wherever it is that you escape and sit in silence and think about the one you love.  Think about what life would be like if you lost that person and actively begin to cherish your time together.  Enjoy the mundane parts of life and make time for special events, but most of all think about and cherish what you have together.  I believe that, salvation excluded, a spouse is the greatest gift God gives us on this earth.  Make sure you thank Him for it everyday.

           

* My company is part of a special program called Angel Flight.  They offer our air shuttle, free, to anyone who lives within driving distance of Bartlesville or Houston and needs to commute to MD Anderson or Cancer Treatment Centers of America for care.  I have met some of the most beautiful spirited people on this flight.  They think we are a blessing to them, but really they are a huge blessing to us.