It’s 2:30AM. My alarm is going to go off in 5 hours, and I have a really long day tomorrow. To work by 9:30AM for meetings all day, then fly home at 7:30PM (central time). Arrive at the Ohio airport at 11PM and then make the 2 hour drive home. (I just wish I had put gas in my car before I got to the airport last week.) So, the question remains, if my day is so crazy tomorrow why am I still up writing to you tonight?
The answer: Because I can’t sleep. This is the 5th or 6th day in a row that I haven’t been able to sleep. I was up until 5:30AM this morning, took a nap before going the hangar to work on some things and here I am again, still not sleeping.
For a little while now I haven’t been feeling myself. I’ve been wrought with insecurity, which isn’t like me. I’ve been unable to sleep, which isn’t like me. I cry at the drop of a hat, which isn’t like me. (I know what you are thinking right about now, and no I’m not pregnant.) I’ve been eaten up with turmoil and insecurity about the future. (The future part has to do with my job, and only my job. Sorry, I can’t go into details.)
There have been very few times in my life when I have been truly unsure about things and when I can’t seem to find my footing. However, I have had them and I am experiencing it again right now. I went through some really hard times in college, but I clung to God with everything in me and He never let me down. At the time there was a CD track that was being passed around. It was given to me one day. It was a blank CD, with nothing written on it, and it only had one twenty minute track on it of a guy talking. I listened to that CD over and over and over and over and over and over again every single day for two years or so. I burned it onto more CDs and gave it to every person who would take it. It got me through some the darkest days of my life.
One day, I was talking to someone about it and I asked if he had any idea who the speaker was. I don’t remember who I asked, but I do remember the person saying, “I’m not for sure, but I think the guy’s name is Graham Cooke.” (This was around 2002.) I searched the Internet high and low and couldn’t find anything. (It might have been because I was spelling it “Cook”, but that’s neither here nor there.")
After a couple of years of gaining power from this word I stopped listening to it so often. Soon, I stopped listening to it at all, and I didn’t listen to it again until tonight.
Today was a really “bad day”. I cried a few times, when no one was looking, and I even went and saw The Lucky One at the theater so that I would have a real excuse to cry. (It did help.) Then, I spent hours face-timing with Jason. We watched the entire Thunder game together. I had fun with him and the Thunder won, so that helped too. But, the darkness started creeping back in as I was getting into bed. It was 1:30AM and I wasn’t even a little bit tired. The last thing I wanted to do was lay there with my eyes open while my mind reeled. I started praying and the verse that was going over and over in my head was “For I know the plans I have for you…” (I couldn’t remember the reference so I looked it up. It’s Jeremiah 29:11.) As I read the verses in Jeremiah that surround that verse the words from that CD that I had memorized so long ago started running through my head. I grabbed my phone and check YouTube. Praise God, there it was, just waiting for me to listen to it once again. I listened to it 3 times before deciding that I needed to share it with you. Since I’m still not even the least bit tired, here I am at 2:55AM sharing with you something that changed my life and sustained my relationship with God during so many dark days.
Because of the words spoken here I never used the words “bad” and “day” together until very recently. You read about a bad day at the mall a couple of weeks ago and then this afternoon I heard myself telling Jason that I was having a really bad day. It felt wrong coming out of my mouth, but I wasn’t sure why. After that I think God decided it was time to remind me why, which is why He led me back to this place.
This should all be on one track, so when you listen I hope you will give yourself 20 minutes and play the tracks back to back. Please, please, please, please take the time to listen to this message, even if you have to mark you calendar and come back to it. You won’t regret it.
Now you can see why for almost 10 years I have kept from uttering the words, “bad day”. “From this day on, for you there is no such thing as a good day or a bad day. There is only a day of grace. And some days the grace of God allows you to enjoy what is happening. And some days the grace of God allows you to endure what is happening.”
“He is consistent, but He is also unpredictable. You never what God is going to do next. You always know what He is going to be like, but you never know what He is going to do next.”
“He will never change His heart toward you no matter what you do. He cannot be anything other than what He is. He is a covenant-maker, and a covenant-keeper, and He is good!”
“God has not called you to do the things that you can do. He has called you to do the things you will never be able to do in a million years.”
“This great God that we serve will throw us into situations beyond us with no other thought than that His great heart will sustain us.”
“And that is what the desert is about. It is about discovering the majesty of God. Hosea 2:14-15 says, “I will captivate her heart and draw her into the wilderness to speak kindly to her.””
This word is part of why I am who I am today and why I see God the way that I do. It is the reason I spent the summer of 2003 in Georgia, utterly alone, studying Hosea and what it meant to be in the wilderness and yet have God speak kindly to you.
It was amazing tonight, as I was listening I started to say the words along with him and then before long I was saying all of the words before him. I haven’t listened to this in 7 years or so, but the words are still burned on my heart. They are the reason I left a fiancé in Oklahoma and moved to Denver to become a flight attendant. They are the reason I cried everyday because I hated being away from Jason, but they are also the reason I trusted where I was. I knew God had led me there and I knew He would sustain me there. Everyday was a day of grace. And now, once again, I am wrought with insecurity about my abilities and my place in the world, but I know that God has brought me here. I understand that He is unpredictable, but that He is also consistent. He never changed. I choose to embrace where I am in life because I TRUST IN THE NATURE OF GOD.
God is so amazing. As my my eyes fill with tears once more, my eyelids are growing heavy. Just as God has revealed His kindness to Graham Cooke. He has revealed His presence to me. He never leaves me, and I praise Him with everything in me.
“Beloved, do not be distracted from your journey into the nature of God. Don’t be distracted, because that is the source. It is the wellspring of all your joy, your peace, your rest, your revelation, your anointing, your power. It is the nature of God.”
Goodnight,
(I know it seems like overkill to include the text version, but it’s for the people who are using the translate gadget.)
THE NATURE OF GOD
By Graham Cooke
How blessed are the people whose God is the Lord. When you know, when you really know the sovereignty of God and His Lordship over all things – seen and unseen; when you’re able to confess Him as the Supreme Ruler over all things, and to confess that He is your Lord and you are His possession, then at that point, you are the happiest of people. You could not get any happier. Nothing could happen that could be so wonderful, that it could possibly be better than the happiness you have in the Lordship and Supremacy of Jesus Christ. When you know that you are situated, that you are located in the heart of the happiest, most powerful Person ever to live, then you cannot be more happy than at that point. When you are able to step back into His rest and live in the High Tower of His name, so that when the enemy come raging against you, he cannot find you – that’s joy! That’s happiness!
How blessed is he whose help is in the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord His God, the One who made Heaven and Earth; who made the sea and all that is in them; the One who keeps faith forever. When all your confidence is in the One who made Heaven and Earth, when everything you need in life is utterly dependent on the goodness, the mercy, the kindness, the love, the grace, the power, of the One Person who is Supreme God above all gods. When your present, and your future, and your health, and your destiny, and your life, depend totally on the God who works for weak, twisted and deceitful people, then you simply have to be the happiest people on the face of the Earth, because your happiness is built totally on the knowledge that the God who gives favor to weak, selfish people, He has given you an unshakable conviction and confidence in His ability to bring change and power to bear on your life. Therefore, the most wonderful thing you will ever do with your life is to trust it to the nature of God - to put it into the hands of a God who totally loves you, and is deeply committed to you, and delights in helping you. It is the most happiest feeling to totally trust the best, the most honorable, the most powerful, the most integrous, committed, and faithful covenant-maker who is also the most decent Person who ever lived – Jesus. Being completely reliant on His character and integrity is the source of your great happiness!
We rest in Your nature – for me, Father, You are the kindest Person I have ever known. You are the happiest Person I know. You are the most consistent Person we have ever dealt with. You never change. Everything comes down to us from this Father of Lights, in whom there is no variation or shadow of turning. You say with absolute confidence, “I AM THE LORD. I change not. I AM the same yesterday, today, and forever.”
And Beloved, we are learning to live in the paradox of God – to know that He is consistent, but He is also unpredictable. He is consistent in His nature – you always know where you are with God, but you seldom know what He is going to do next. But you always know where you are with God because He never changes. When Moses said, “God, please show me Your glory,” maybe he was expecting some great light and display of power, but God just looked at him and smiled at him and said, “I will cause all my goodness to pass before you” because the glory of God is the nature of God – that God is good! He is good! He is unfailingly good! He is good! He is good! God is good! He’s good! He is good! And He is never changes – He will always be good! Yesterday He was good, today is good, tomorrow He will be good. And it is your destiny to have the goodness of God pass before you. He’ll never change. You always know where you are with Him. He never changes. He is consistent – the most consistent Person ever. He will never change His heart toward you no matter what you do. He cannot be anything other than what He is. He is a covenant-maker, and a covenant-keeper, and He is good!
Our God is consistent, but He is also unpredictable. You never know what God is going to do next. You always know what He is going to be like, but you never know what He is going to do next. God has called you to see the invisible, and do the impossible. God has not called you to do the things that you can do. He has called you to do the things you will never be able to do in a million years. You are not able to do what God has called you to do. Only He can do it. But He has called you to live in His faithfulness. He has called you to live in His consistency. And He will come and do all the things that need to be done. So, Beloved, you cannot find security in what God is doing, because God commits you to the impossible. He asks you to see the invisible. He calls you to do the outrageous. There is no security in that place. There is no security in what God is doing. There is only security in who God is. This great God that we serve will throw us into situations beyond us with no other thought than that His great heart will sustain us. And the answer of God to everything, to every excuse you want to make why you can’t do something – the answer is always the same. When you look into His face and see the twinkle in His eye and the grin on His face, and He looks at you and He says, “Nevertheless, I will be with you.” That’s all, that’s His only answer to human weakness. “It’s okay. I will be there.” He is the great God who sends us out as lambs among wolves. Why? Because the Lion is padding by our side.
See, what God has called us to is outrageous, impossible, and totally unpredictable. And the only way that we will do it is because we are secure in the nature of God. He is consistent, but He is unpredictable. But the church, you know, is the opposite – we are inconsistent in relationships but oh so boringly predictable in everything that we do. That’s the nature of the change that is coming, Beloved. And the only way that we will come into that high place of anointing and power, to seize the moment, to advance the Kingdom, to swim against the tide, to go against the odds, to sail against the wind that is in the world, is if you and I are resting in the consistent nature of God. That you and I have a testimony of what God is really like living in our hearts in such a powerful way that it drives everything. It is that testimony that is the very essence of prophecy, the testimony of what Jesus is really, really like. “I AM the Lord. I never, ever change. I will always be exactly like this.” And we are discovering what the “exactly like this” is really all about. Beloved, do not be distracted from your journey into the nature of God. Don’t be distracted, because that is the source. It is the wellspring of all your joy, your peace, your rest, your revelation, your anointing, your power. It is the nature of God. And when you learn how to rest in the nature of God, when He comes walking within the impossible, you will be the one that gets out of the boat to join Him. You won’t be one of those who were standing there wondering, or thinking about joining Him. There will be this instinctive, intuitive NEED to put your leg over the side of the boat and start walking on a substance you have no business being on except that He is drawing you there.
It is your destiny, Beloved, to walk in the nature of God and do greater things than He did. It is your destiny. But you’ll never get out there unless you learn how to live in here. You’re perfect. Beloved, you are perfect for God. You’re perfect. And He is going to make you perfect in His nature, stamping the image of Jesus on you. It is going to be great. And that is what the desert is about. It is about discovering the majesty of God. Hosea 2:14-15 says, “I will captivate her heart and draw her into the wilderness to speak kindly to her.” And out of that place of coming into a revelation of the nature of God for me - out of that place, God will give your vineyard of fruitfulness. Guaranteed, hey! See, He knows the plan He has for you, the things He wants you to accomplish. But first, first I want you to see Me as I really, really am for you, as I am for you, as I am for you. I want you to know Me as I am for you.
Everyone of us needs a revelation of an aspect of the nature of God. For me, it has always been the kindness of God. God has been relentlessly kind to me over many, many, many years. Kinder than I deserve. Relentlessly kind. He has pursued me with kindness, to a point where every living day I expect to have an experience of the kindness of God. I have an expectation when I wake up in the morning. Even in my dreams, I expect the kindness of God to come. I can’t remember a day when I was disappointed in the last, I don’t know, 10 years at least. The thing is, I look for the kindness of God every day, because that is my joy – to see the hand of kindness coming toward me, the kind word, the blessing. Even on the difficult days, there is always an act of kindness for me, because that is my revelation. He is the kindest Person I have ever met in my entire life. Beloved, He will not rest Himself until you have a revelation of what He is really, really like. Then He has to back that revelation up with experience. These are the things He so loves to do.
He is faithful. From this day on, for you there is no such thing as a good day or a bad day. There is only a day of grace. And some days the grace of God allows you to enjoy what is happening. And some days the grace of God allows you to endure what is happening. But don’t think about good and bad anymore – just enjoy the grace that is present. And out of that grace will come an expectancy. I know You are going to do something today. I just want to be alive to You so that I can see it; wait for it; speak it out; live in it; experience it; worship You in it; glorify Your name in it. There are no good days anymore; there are no bad days; just days of grace, hey. It’s agreed, just days of grace. And the grace of God is going to come and bring with it the nature of God, that you might know Him. That you might know Him. That you might know Him and rest in Him, move in Him, worship Him, represent Him. Hey, God.
Transcribed by Elaine Mifflin
